Too Honourable

Too honourable for happiness Too resigned your deep felt sigh. You accept your crappy choices As days and weeks go by. Have you thought about your life Have you thought about your death. Have you taken to wonder How you will feel on your last breath? Will you see your life As choices that tied you down Will you look and wonder With a saddened, painful frown. What might have been for you? What joys you missed for years By staying in your chains And anchored by your fears. But see here now, look around And notice you are free You don't have to stay in misery You could simply be with me. You reach out in your dreams to mine You caress my heart and soul You live out all your love for us The life you want to be whole. Bring it into your waking mind Feel it in your waking heart Immerse yourself fully now I promise we won't ever part. The safest haven in all the world Is the place where our soul reunites It is the place we came from You just need to follow my lights. I will keep on walking onwards And I trust you to catch up I will continue loving you Until we sip from that same cup. Know that I am here Know I keep the faith, my love Know that when you look for me I am under, around and above. Always and forever constant Always and forever true Always dreaming of our time Always, I am with you.

The gift

I love the gift of words,
Though I stumble and I fall
I love the way they guide me
To understand it all
The passion of a moment,
The pleasure of a smile
To hear my name in your voice
You make my ears worthwhile.

I love the gift of memory
Thought it sometimes causes pain
I love to just remember
Moments you're with me again
To repeat your laughter
In my head, rewind and then hit play.
Takes me to my happy place
I could live and die this way.

I love the gift of silence
Though it's awfully loud sometimes
I want to be there in your quiet
And witness you, sublime.
To sit so still beside you
Without a need to speak
Humbled in your presence
Like a child, small and weak.

I love the gift of pain,
Though it can take me unaware
I love the way it teaches, warns
Of dangers that are there.
Of emotional baggage I need to drop
Of things I need to see
Of the worries I have to leave
To authentically be me.

I love the gift of separation
Though I am in agonies for you
I love way I have to love
Without condition to be true
To lose the expectation
Of a connection here my love.
To let go of my desire
And trust in powers from above.

I love the gift of faith
Though I often lose my way
I love the way I have to fly
Without wings most every day.
The feeling of being alone
The illusion we have to break
The thoughts that ego gives us
Until we fully are awake.

I love the gift of you
Though I miss you with every breath
I love everything you teach me
Though I often feel like death
The release of loving just to love
Liberates and frees me
It takes me to the ocean
And brings me to my knees.

I love the gift of me
Though I am baffled by my choices
I love the path I walk with friends
I love all of your voices
Those of you who walk with me
And those who tag along
Make a weary journey easier,
And bring pleasures of pure song.

I love the gift of poetry
Though I surely am no master
I love the poetry of your face
It makes my heart beat faster
I love the music in your voice
I love the smell of your perfect skin
I love how much I love you
I love how very deeply I am in.

I love that this all for you, dear one,
Though you have no clue
I care not that you do not know
For some day I will show you.
You will see all of the love
You will experience my gift
You will know why you felt loved
Before you felt the consciousness just shift.

I stand before you naked
I am open as a book
I stand before you loving you
Please, just take a look
See with the eyes of your soul
Put your ego in a box
Experience the gift of truth
Answer the door when my love knocks.

You are

My day you are,
My night as well.
My dark you are
My light in hell.

My morning sigh
My daytime guiles
My afternoon yawn
My evening smiles.

My heart you are
My love you feed
My dearest wish
My every need.

My every breath
My oxygen
My essential
My nitrogen

My story you are
My love affair
My life you are
My only care.

My DNA
My every cell
My blood my bones
My skin as well

My past you are
My present too
My daily life
My bird's eye view.

My dreams you are
My future plan
My thoughts you are
My only man.

A little anger left

I filled the space you left
With bricks and rocks and rubble
I fully feel the weight
Of this heavy, painful bubble.
I fill my days the same
With tasks that eat up time
Hoping to wake one day
Not caring, feeling fine.
In truth I want sleep all day
And then to sleep all night
Pretending that I'm happy
Just feels like a fight.
I want it gone from me
Your existence in my heart
To pretend we never knew
Well that would be a start.
Not saying as a solution
It's perfect, not a bit
Just that with you gone
I could climb out of this pit
But then I think of days
When you messaged or you rang
And many old wounds were healed
Perhaps that was the divine plan.
So if you came to fix some stuff
I guess I owe my gratitude
It's the other things you broke
Though that caused my attitude.
See, it's not that I'm not thankful
Of the gifts you gave so free
It's just a costly one right now
As the bill was sent to me.
Maybe it was an oversight
And you left your credit card
Or maybe I misheard the deal
And that's what makes this hard!
And maybe you miss me too
Or the dreams you had for us
Maybe you also feel crushed
Underneath this stupid bus.
You know the one, you drove it
Roughshod on both our hopes
And yet it feels to me
I'm the only one left who copes.
I suppose a part of me is thankful
You are weak, I thought you strong,
But you let you friends guide you
It didn't even take that long!
In future I'll fix myself
I cannot bear more weight
And want to be filled with love
Not anger and self hate.
So thanks again for everything
I wish you well in love
It's just I kind of wish right now
That you're shit on from above.

Could you?

I wonder sitting here alone
Could you hold me
Just one night, just one
As if I were yours?

Could you lean forward
Close to my face and smile
Then kiss me gently
As if I were yours?

Could you spend a day
Walking and talking and being
With me, just... with me
As if I were yours?

Could you lie by me
In my bed and let me listen
To your heart beating
As if you were mine?

Could you listen to my hopes
To my dreams and fears
To my experiences
As if you were mine?

Could you turn to me and sigh
And tell me that there is no place
That you would rather be
As if you were mine?

Could we whisper of hope
Could we touch each other's soul
Could we reach for the sky
As if we were one together?

Could we love for that whole night
Without fear of the future
Without fear of a pain that might not come
As if we were one together?

Could we fall asleep
In each other's arms
Knowing nothing more perfect exists
As if were one together?

Could we be loving
And free and vulnerable
Naked to the core
As children of the universe?

Could we make love
In innocence
And in purity of loving joy
As children of the universe?

Could we explore the stars
And reach for that dream
Of love without need
As children of the universe?

And if we could do that
Do you think....
We could do it all again tomorrow
As if we trust in each other?

And if we could manage tomorrow
Do you think...
We could let go of control
As if we trust in each other?

And if we could let go of control
Could we fly
And merge and be one
As if we trust in each other?

And if we could merge and be one
Do you think....
Maybe....
We'd have found the reason we are here?

Promises

It seemed to have so much
It seemed to be something real
It seemed to me I was falling
And I could really feel.
The promise was a gift
From now into tomorrow
It was a hint of joy
That became my sorrow.
I should have left my walls
They stood to keep me safe
I should have checked their strength
Instead of being brave.
But I started to think I wanted
To jump with both my feet
I imagined that it was right
My optimism can't be beat.
It seemed to me you see
A promise of a feeling
A tangible one for sure
Instead it left me reeling.
You broke my wall
I hate so much that you did
But I wanted it too
And so I never hid.
Well now my feet are broken
As they landed on the floor
Of the promise of a future
That just strolled out the door.
But see, I think you're great
Even now as I feel the tears
I hope you find the love
That will alleviate your fears.
So take the unspoken promise
Of anticipating what comes now
take it with my blessing
And just be open and allow.
You want something real
And you want it close to you
I hope that you get it all
And the promise is seen through.
I'll just pick my heart up
And pop it back inside
And then I'll build my walls again
So the better I can hide.

Epitaph.

If someone wrote your epitaph
In advance of when you die Would you take the truth of you Or would you take the lie? Would you want the words To elevate the speaker To remind them all to live The listener and the reader. Would the truth of how you lived Raise the bar for all Would it reach inside their heart With a moving clarion call? Is every day you live on earth A chance to love and grow Is every moment learning And being in the flow? Or did you make decisions Based on fear or need How many of your choices Were purely based on greed. If your soul exposed itself To those you love right now Would you be scared of their reaction Would it kill your sacred cow? How many people know you Of those that you call friend How many people understand Your beginning and your end? Do you tell your loved ones In your words and in your deeds Exactly how you feel For them not just your needs? So, if someone wrote your epitaph In advance of when you die Would you change a thing in it Or would you let it fly?