Being true and honest with yourself and with others...

How true and honest are you with yourself and with others?

I mean I think I am pretty honest, but on closer inspection it turns out that honesty is a commodity of convenience. It is something we choose to use on a daily basis but are never more than an inch away from lying to everyone around us.
Of course the most used lie is 'I'm fine', how many times have we said that in the course of even a day when we didn't mean it, it was just easier than saying what you really think or feel?
We use it when we are feeling things we are afraid to admit to ourselves or to other people that it involves.

Mostly it is fear, fear of looking foolish, fear of being rejected, fear even that it might be a good thing to speak up. We worry that people will hold our vulnerabilities against us, we worry that in sharing too much we give people the ammunition they require to hurt us with. It is human nature to protect yourself against hurt, it is also in human nature to run from things that may be wonderful because we fear having what we want, we don't want to burst our own bubble of belief that the world works a certain way and that only certain combinations of life choice will ever work....

When we are happily in a pattern of behaviour and someone or something comes along and challenges what we have accepted for our life, it's easier to hide.... easier to run, than to ever question our here and now. We assume much of others, we assume their motivation comes from something that we may have manifested for ourselves based on past experiences. It's easy to imagine that a past hurt will come back and haunt you, if you ever show who you really are to someone.

It's easy to think someone is *doing* something *to* you, rather than to see that you may, in fact be projecting and super-imposing your fears onto the actions of another. And this is where more lying takes place.. to yourself... You can analyse til you are blue in the face, but unless you are honest and brave and take your courage and say ''Erm, hey.... I noticed this, I felt hurt (upset, betrayed, confused, basically... *insert emotion here*) Is this the way it is?''
And be brave enough to hear the truth.... well, that's the rub, isn't it... we are far more guilty of lying to ourselves to protect our immediate feelings than to say to someone... ''I need to say something to you and I need to be very honest with you and I don't expect something in return, it is just me telling you how I feel without expectation''
Because that is what being true and honest with yourself and with others is about. It isn't about getting what you want, it's about living with your truth and accepting the blessings it brings without fear of embarrassment, pain or any of the other emotions that make us want to retreat. It's about speaking your truth in your life with dignity and with respect for other people that they may not be aware of the fact they have unsettled everything you thought you believed.
It's being one with yourself, with your truth, with the people who matter to you and if they don't respond in a thoughtful and loving way you will know that THEY were the ones lying, not you, about who they are.
Well, that's my first mad ramble.... there you go....

Now, can anyone tell me how to best take my own advice??